


Thinking Out Loud

by babyjae



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, it was also written for superpower week, just a little tho very tiny, this is a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 02:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5074690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyjae/pseuds/babyjae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum wakes up one day to find himself able to read minds - or mind. Fortunately, it's Youngjae's, so it can't be too bad, right? Oh how wrong he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

> x-posted from 7fics! :~)

When Jaebum woke up that morning, something was very,  _very_  off. For one, he was already awake, only resting his eyes as he waited for his turn in the bathroom but oddly, he was still dreaming behind closed eyelids. And what made it even weirder was the fact that he was dreaming about  _Youngjae_.

Jaebum grunted, shifting onto his back, his eyebrows furrowed in both concentration and confusion. He muted his own thoughts and instead, focused on the dream.

_Youngjae threw his head back, laughing breathlessly as he tried to squirm away from Jaebum’s tickling fingers but his attempts were futile as the older boy locked him down, legs on either side of his hips._

_“Hyung, please…have mercy!” Youngjae begged, voice high-pitched from the lack of oxygen. “I promise I won’t do it again!”_

_“I don’t know if I should trust you, Choi Youngjae,” Jaebum chuckled but slowed down his movements nonetheless, his hands now carressing the younger boy’s sides instead._

_Youngjae’s chest heaved up and down as he tried to catch his breath, face flushed. Once he was calm, he looked up at Jaebum, the light atmosphere shifting slightly. “I’m sorry.”_

_Jaebum hummed and brushed the hair out of Youngjae’s eyes. “I’m not angry anymore. Plus, you weren’t the only one in on it, everyone was. And I’ve also given you your punishment so it’s all good.”_

_“_ _Still, as your roommate I feel responsible. I know how much you hate hidden cameras.”_

_“Stop thinking about it,” Jaebum chided lightly, gently knocking the younger boy’s head._

_Youngjae pouted but said no more on the situation. Instead, he asked, “Hyung, you know I love you, right?”_

_Wait…what_? Jaebum’s eyes shot open and he immediately sat up, trying to blink away the images in his head. But somehow, they remained and he panicked.

What the  _hell_  was going on?

A small noise coming from his side interrupted his musings and Jaebum listened in closely as Youngjae mumbled his name in his sleep, along with a repetition of the three sacred words. His eyes widened in realisation.

He couldn’t get rid of the dream because it wasn’t his to begin with. It was _Youngjae’s_.

To confirm his suspicions, Jaebum quickly woke Youngjae up. “Youngjae-yah, wake up. We have to go for a recording. Youngjae-yah, Youngjae, Youngjae!”

Jaebum sighed heavily. Curse Youngjae for being a deep sleeper. He really needed to wake the younger boy because—oh God, they were kissing now. Shaking his head, Jaebum pushed Youngjae’s sleeping body up into a sitting position and gave him a few slaps to his cheeks. “Youngjae, wake up!”

The moment Youngjae opened his eyes, the pictures in his head also stopped. Youngjae yawned and rubbed at his eyes sleepily, hair sticking up in all directions. He smacked his dry lips together before speaking,

“Good morning, hyung.”

“Good morning to you too,” Jaebum replied, heart beating at a hundred miles per minute as his suspicions were confirmed. But what worried him the most was why Youngjae was dreaming about  _kissing_  him.

_What time is it?_

“It’s almost 8 am. You can go shower first,” Jaebum answered.

Youngjae turned to stare at him in confusion.

“What?”

“Did I say that out loud?”

Panic set in the pit of Jaebum’s stomach but he covered it up by laughing but the sound sounded fake even to his own ears. “You must still be half-asleep to not even realise that you spoke. Go wash up. I’m think Bambam’s done. Don’t take too long, okay?” he said in the most normal tone he could muster and quickly got off their shared mattress before turning his back to Youngjae as he pretended to pick out his clothes for the day.

_Weird…I’m pretty sure I didn’t speak. Oh well._ Jaebum heard Youngjae say, or rather,  _think_. From the corner of his eyes, he could see the younger boy shrugging and stretching before he left the room. But even then, Jaebum could still hear his thoughts, up until he heard the bathroom door closing.  _Last night’s dream was really nice. Jaebum-hyung actually reciprocated my feelings. If only it was real…I wonder what we’re having for breakfast today. I hope it’s not eggs again…_

Once his mind was clear, Jaebum released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He held onto the cupboard in front of him because he couldn’t even trust himself to stand.

 He could read minds. And worse, Youngjae was in love with him.

 Well,  _shit_.

 

 

The first thing Jaebum deemed appropriate to do was tell his best friend. He pulled Jinyoung to a corner during a break in the middle of a show recording and blurted out:

“I can read minds.”

Jinyoung’s reaction changed from shock to bafflement and then to disbelief in a matter of seconds. He laughed softly. “Are you okay? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?”

“No, I woke up with Youngjae’s thoughts in  _my_  head,” Jaebum hissed, missing out the part where he also had a peek at Youngjae’s dream and that their younger bandmate had feelings for him. Nobody needed to know that. At least, not yet.

If not for the crazed, panicked look in Jaebum’s eyes, Jinyoung would have laughed again. But something was telling him that his friend wasn’t lying. “O…kay. I’ll think of something and you’ll have to repeat what’s in my head.”

Jaebum nodded. “Alright.”

Five…ten minutes passed and nothing came to him.

"Well?”

“Are you sure you’re thinking?”

Scratch that, his friend probably was lying. “Mark-hyung is better than Jaebum-hyung, that’s what I thought of. Maybe it was just your brain playing tricks on you, hyung. You  _have_ been stressing out lately after all. It’s probably finally getting to you.”

Jaebum hummed thoughtfully. Jinyoung was probably right. It was just stress. “Yeah, maybe that’s it,” he agreed, pulling Jinyoung into a headlock and laughed as he thought of how ridiculous he sounded. “And how dare you think that Mark is better than I am!”

He couldn’t read minds. He was normal.

_They sure are close. I wish I could be Jinyoung-hyung. Jaebum-hyung seems to like him a lot. Ah, I’m getting jealous over nothing. They’re just friends…just friends…but my heart still hurts._

…Or maybe not.

 

 

A week after having discovered his “ability”, Jaebum found out that it only worked on Youngjae. He attempted it on the rest of the members but no matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t get in their heads. With Youngjae though, it was as easy as ABC.

Another thing that he discovered was that he needed to be in a certain distance with Youngjae to hear his thoughts, anything above seven meters and all he could hear was a slow buzz, as if losing signal with whatever that connected him to Youngjae.

But getting away from the younger boy appeared to be a more difficult task than he thought. It was especially hard when they spent most of their days together, whether it be during practice or recording, wherever one went, the other six would follow. And to make matters worse, he was also Youngjae’s roommate which meant he could barely escape the other boy’s thoughts.

To say that he was getting used to Youngjae’s voice in his head wouldn’t be a total lie. Sometimes, it soothed and calmed him, other times it amused him to listen to the other’s musings. What he still wasn’t accustomed to, however, was Youngjae’s thoughts on him.

Jaebum found out that Youngjae thought of him on a daily basis, which shouldn’t have been a surprise considering that the younger boy was in love with him. He was still coming to terms with his own feelings –what did he view Youngjae as? A friend? A brother? Something more than that? Could he like Youngjae too?

He sighed softly and stared into the dark before he turned his head to face the back of his roommate. Jaebum reached out, about to touch him but before he even made contact, the boy shivered and Jaebum entered his mind.

Over the past week, Jaebum had gotten used to sharing Youngjae’s dreams. They mostly involved him and they were innocent enough to not disturb him but tonight—tonight was different.

Jaebum rolled onto his back and groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and clamped his hands over his ears as if doing so would block the images of lips pressed against lips, sweat slicked skin moulding together and moans escaping parted mouths. He realised that Youngjae was at that age where he would dream about such things but he wished it weren’t about  _him_.

To his relief though, the dream ended just as quickly as it started and that’s when Jaebum realised that Youngjae was awake. He turned his back to the other boy and breathed evenly, feigning sleep as he felt Youngjae shuffle about, muttering curses about being a teenager and hormones before he padded out of the room.

Opening his eyes, Jaebum saw that it was two in the morning. They had an early start tomorrow and the last thing he wanted was for Youngjae to be sleep deprived too –at least, that’s what he told himself as he sneakily followed behind the younger boy, pressing his ear against the bathroom door as Youngjae locked himself in.

But when he heard a low moan coming from the other side, he almost wished he hadn’t.

 

 

The next few days were  _painfully_  awkward for Jaebum. He tried to avoid Youngjae at all costs without the younger boy noticing but on the fifth day, Youngjae knew that something was up.

“Hyung,” Youngjae frowned, arms folded across his chest as he stared at Jaebum after finally getting the chance to corner the older boy. “What’s up? You’ve been running away from me lately. Did I do something wrong?”

Jaebum rubbed the back of his neck and laughed dryly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_Liar_ , Youngjae’s voice echoed in his head.

“But why do you turn away every time I come close to you? And whenever I call for your attention, it takes you twice as long for you to respond. You’ve also been coming to bed late. If I did something, you have to tell me. We’re roommates after all. I don’t like this awkward tension between us.”

_And it hurts_.

Guilt immediately ate at Jaebum’s heart. He should’ve figured that Youngjae would catch on—he might be clueless at times but he was always attentive. He was about to open his mouth to reply, to deny Youngjae’s words when Jinyoung came by and he might have looked a little bit too relieved because the next thing he heard from Youngjae left a painful throb in his chest:

_Of course. Of course Jinyoung-hyung is his priority. Lately I feel like I don’t matter anymore. Whatever, I’ll just pretend that everything’s okay. Nobody’s going to notice anyway. And definitely not Jaebum-hyung._

Jaebum swallowed and spoke up, “We’ll talk later, okay?”

But Youngjae was already walking away from him.

 

 

“Later” came after a couple of weeks. They were left alone at the dorm, the other members out spending their free time enjoying themselves while Jaebum and Youngjae opted to stay in and catch up on some sleep.

However, sleeping was the last thing on their minds as Jaebum angrily pushed at Youngjae’s shoulder. Having to deal with Youngjae’s thoughts and feelings along with his own and with work piling up as well, Jaebum finally snapped, too stressed with everything that was going on around him.

Something that Youngjae said had ticked him off, switching on the raging temper that he tried so hard to bury within him and everything that he kept in came tumbling out.

“I know, okay?! I know that you like me!”

Youngjae stumbled back, eyes wide with both fear and surprise. “Why…how?”

Jaebum took a deep breath and sighed, pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose. “You may not believe me but I woke up a month ago able to read minds,” he started, looking at Youngjae to see if he was listening. He was. “Well, not exactly minds. Only yours. So for the past month, everything you think, I think and everything you dream, I dream.”

Youngjae was quiet for a while as he let the whole thing process before he asked, “And you didn’t think it was important to tell me?”

“Youngjae, I—”

“Shit, that means you’ve seen everything, you  _know_  everything, you—” Youngjae gasped, hand clamping over his mouth as his eyes grew bigger. “Please tell me you didn’t—oh God, please, please, please.”

Knowing that Youngjae was referring to the one  _particular_  dream, Jaebum reached out to the younger boy, only for his touch to be rejected. “Listen, I’m flattered that you like me, Youngjae but I’m not the right one for you. You deserve better—”

"Bullshit.”

“…What did you just say?”

“I said bullshit. You’re only saying that because you have feelings for Jinyoung-hyung, don’t you? Why don’t you just tell me the truth instead of sugar coating your lies?!”

“Wait, first off, what does Jinyoung have anything to do with this? Second, I’m not lying—”

“Yes, you are! You’ve been lying to me and invading my privacy and is this why you’ve been acting all weird around me?! Because you  _knew_  that I had feelings for you?” Youngjae hissed and Jaebum could see the way his eyes glassed over, the brown orbs filled with sadness and betrayal but Jaebum’s patience was also wearing thin.

_Ugh, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Calm yourself down, Youngjae. You can’t cry in front of Jaebum._

"Well why don’t you try being in my shoes?! It’s not like I  _wanted_  to be in your head, it just happened! And how would you feel if you suddenly woke up one day only to discover that your bandmate likes you and dreams about all kinds of filthy things about you….it’s disgusting!” Jaebum yelled back and only when he saw the flash of hurt and anger cross Youngjae’s face did he realise what he said. “Youngjae, I didn’t—”

But Youngjae would have none of it. He held his hand up to stop Jaebum from speaking another word, using the other to wipe at his tears angrily. “Forget it. I don’t want to hear anymore. From now on, I won’t look at you, I won’t speak to you unless I have to and I won’t even think about you. Happy?” he said, turning to leave.

Jaebum quickly grabbed Youngjae’s wrist. “Youngjae…”

Pulling away from Jaebum’s grip, Youngjae looked at him one last time. “And who the hell are you to tell me that I deserve better? You were the best to me but now…now I’m not so sure anymore.”

The sound of the door slamming was nothing compared to the sound of Jaebum’s broken heart.

 

 

"You’re staring.”

True to his words, Youngjae stopped thinking about him. After their fight, the younger boy never approached him like he did before, only talking to him when it was necessary and never once did Jaebum cross his mind. It was as if he had completely shut away from him and if Jaebum was honest with himself, he’d say that it was  _killing_  him.

“Yoohoo, earth to Jaebum,” Jinyoung called out, snapping his fingers in front of his friend a few times to finally gain his attention.

“Whaa?”

“I said, you’re staring. Particularly at our third youngest, Youngjae.”

Jaebum blinked his eyes rapidly and his vision soon cleared. Jinyoung was right, he was staring at Youngjae.

“I wonder why,” Jinyoung hummed casually. “Did you finally figure out that he likes you, too?”

Sighing heavily, Jaebum nodded. “Yeah—wait,  _too_? And you know that he likes me?”

“Mhmm. For quite a long time now actually. Even Yugyeom figured it out a while back. It was only you who was blind,” the younger of the two shrugged as if it was no surprise. “And why do you look so shocked? You do like him back, don’t you?”

“I…don’t,” Jaebum answered, his words coming out slow and hesitant.

“Are you sure you’re not just in denial? Because you kind of always gave Youngjae special treatments, always allowing him to do things you wouldn’t dare let anyone else do to you,” Jinyoung explained. “And you have an  _immense_  weak spot for him. I know because I’ve been your friend for over two years now and I’ve never seen you trust yourself to anyone else the way you do to Youngjae. Not even to me.”

As Jinyoung’s words sunk in, Jaebum’s mind reeled back to the first time he met Youngjae all the way to their current situation. And he had never felt so stupid. “Why didn’t I know this?”

"Because even when you’re smart and perceptive, you can be pretty dumb when it comes to your own feelings. You turned a blind eye because it wasn’t something that you wanted to face.”

“But now I can’t ignore it anymore,” Jaebum sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I messed up, though. We fought and I called him disgusting and I…what do I have to do?”

Jinyoung offered Jaebum a squeeze to his shoulder. “Easy: you fix it.”

 

 

Fixing things was easier said than done, Jaebum lamented grumpily as he stumbled into his room, dumping himself face first into the mattress as he failed, yet again, to speak to Youngjae that day.

It was difficult enough to talk to him but it was even harder to get through the barrier of people  (people meaning Bambam and Yugyeom with the occasionally bouts of a clingy Jackson) that surrounded Youngjae. And even though they were roommates, the younger boy only came in when Jaebum was already asleep and out by the time he woke up so he had no chance of catching him at all.

Tired, Jaebum closed his eyes, not even bothered to change out of his clothes, allowing sleep to come to him. But just as he was about to drift off, the soft sound of the door opening and closing seeped into his weary mind.

_He’s going to catch a cold like this…Should I wake him up? But then I’ll have to talk to him._

Jaebum couldn’t help but smile slightly at knowing that the younger boy still worried for him despite everything that had happened. He also couldn’t help the small flicker of hope bubbling in his chest as Youngjae thought of him again.

There was a small sound of shuffling before Jaebum felt the mattress dipping, indicating that Youngjae had lied down beside him. He was still pretending to sleep though, waiting to listen in on the boy’s thoughts.

_I wonder if he can hear me in his sleep. How does mind reading work anyway? I would’ve thought it was cool if it didn’t only happen to me. Does that make Jaebum-hyung a superhero? Hm…_

Jaebum bit on his lower lip to keep himself from bursting out into laughter. With the stacks of comic books Youngjae owned, Jaebum wasn’t surprised that that was what he was thinking of.

_But then again, hyung has always kind of been a superhero to me. Ew, Choi Youngjae, that was really cheesy of you._

Jaebum heard some rustling, assuming that Youngjae was changing his position when he felt a warm palm press against his back. He tensed slightly but quickly relaxed, hoping Youngjae didn’t notice the shift.

_I guess I should stop, huh? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to match up with you. Hyung, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean my words the other day. I was just really sad and angry that I said things without thinking. I miss you. I miss us. I know I’ve been stubborn lately but I’ll change because I want us to be on talking terms again. I want us to be friends again. Can we forget that all of this happened? Can you forget that you ever found out about my feelings? Please?_

Pursing his lips together, Jaebum thought long and hard about Youngjae’s request. Sure, it would be nice to go back to how things were but how long were they going to last before things get bad again? By forgetting, they were only running away from their problems, their feelings –that wasn’t the best solution. Jaebum was about to turn around but Youngjae’s voice interrupted him again.

_I’m crazy. I’m talking to someone who’s sleeping through our minds_ , he heard Youngjae think, accompanied by a sad laugh. There was silence for a few minutes and Jaebum thought that it was his turn to speak to Youngjae, to tell him of his feelings when the trace of Youngjae’s finger against his back stopped him.

As he concentrated, he could vaguely make out Youngjae writing the characters ‘I’m sorry I fell in love with you’ and ‘I still think you’re the best’ but it was the last words and Youngjae’s sniffling that caused his heart to freeze:

‘I’ll give up.’

 

 

Jaebum was sitting on the mattress, staring holes into Youngjae’s back as the younger boy shifted in his sleep before finally waking up. He stretched his body, getting rid of the kinks that had formed in his sleep and yawned, eyes wide with surprise when he noticed that Jaebum was already awake. “H-Hyung?”

“We need to talk.”

“Well, will you look at the time? I think it’s time for me to go and get ready,” Youngjae chuckled dryly, about to get up and run away but before he could do so, Jaebum grabbed his wrist and pulled him down, trapping him with his body.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“Hyung, please let go of me.”

“I read your mind last night.”

Youngjae tensed. He blinked up at Jaebum a few times before turning his head, unable to stand the older boy’s strong gaze. “S-So you know that I want to make up and forget everything that’s happened, right?”

“But what if I said I don’t want to forget?” Jaebum replied slowly, carefully, watching out for Youngjae’s reaction.

“W-What…are you trying to say?” the younger boy asked, meeting Jaebum’s eyes once again, a small flicker of hope lighting inside of him.

“I’m saying…Jinyoung might have made me realise that I have feelings for you too and although this may sound really, really selfish I…I hope you won’t give up on me because I want to try. Try to be with you.”

Youngjae’s eyes widened slightly, his heart picking up speed as the words left Jaebum’s mouth. He stared at the older boy to see if he was serious and for the first time, the boy in front of him wasn’t the cool, confident, leader of GOT7 that he’d come to love but he was simply Im Jaebum, a shy boy who hoped he hadn’t lost his chance at love.

Taking Youngjae’s silence the wrong way, Jaebum shifted uncomfortably and got off of the younger boy. “I guess I’m too late, huh?”

“What, no!” Youngjae snapped out of his thoughts and pulled at Jaebum’s arm but the action threw him off balance and they both ended up toppling onto the mattress in a mess of limbs.

It was quiet for a moment, the boys exchanging glances before they both broke out into loud, raucous laughter. “We’re really stupid, aren’t we?”

“And dramatic.”

“And maybe just a little bit stubborn,” Jaebum added, laughter slowing down to be replaced with a smile. “So…what do you say? Will you give me this chance?”

_Maybe I should scare him and pretend to say no. I wonder if he’ll buy it._

Jaebum rolled his eyes and pinched Youngjae’s side playfully. “I can hear you.”

“Whoops, forgot about that,” Youngjae giggled before nodding. “My answer is yes.”

 

 

(“It’s kind of unfair that you can read my mind but I can’t read yours.”

“But my mind works the same way yours does.”

“How so?”

“I think of you just as much as you think of me.”)


End file.
